Direct vs. Indirect Communication

Before coming here, many sources informed me that Thai people don't communicate as directly as American people. Americans have a reputation for saying exactly what we're thinking. Thai people are very careful about the consequences of what they say, I was told, and try very hard to be polite and considerate. So that was the general consensus: American-direct, Thai-indirect.

Not true. It took me a long time to figure out what the actual situation is, but I think I've got it figured out.

Americans are direct about many things. Direct criticism is often appreciated rather than horrifying. Personal feelings, like not liking a particular dish on the table or particular project at work, can be expressed in an acceptable way. Furthermore, emotions (happiness, sadness, anger, etc.) can be expressed. In these areas, Thai people are very reserved and indirect.

But there are things that Americans just don't say. If a friend's new baby is ugly, you do not tell that friend that they have an ugly baby. Anything negative that is obvious is considered rude to call attention to. I'm not sure how much sense that makes, but that's the way it is.

Not so in Thailand. For example, there is an overweight girl in the 4th grade here. The teachers don't just call her fat, they actually call her Fat. As in, "Come here, Fat." Thai people are shockingly open about obvious things, and excessively reserved about everything else.

It took a long time for me to get used to things like this, but I think it's simply stating facts. Thai people aren't offended by these things, so there's no need for me to be.